I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
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