he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I still have a little drunk in my system
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize