I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Randomize
