just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
Randomize
