I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
Randomize
