just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
So. Much. Porn.
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