You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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