I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
