That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Randomize
