the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
