is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
