He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
whose parrot is this?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
