think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
We had sex on a dog bed..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
Randomize
