We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize
