We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
