so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
