I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
