found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I didn't cheat on him. Cheating means finding out. I made sure he was at work first. After the guy left I got shitfaced just so nothing seemed out of the ordinary when he came home.
I had a party to get rid of booze. Woke up with even more. Will do this till I can open a liquor store
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
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