His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
Randomize