Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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