i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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