I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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