I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Randomize
