is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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