Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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