Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
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