Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
