So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
