I'm laying in your front yard are you home
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
