Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Randomize
