I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Randomize
