he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
