He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
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