Just fell off a train. Bad.
Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
