"it" just moved
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Randomize