Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
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