I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
