I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
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four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
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