omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
