Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
