As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
