glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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