she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
