You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
I know her cup size but not her name....
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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