She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
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