I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
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