My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
