Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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