The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
