Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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