Screwed.edu
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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