I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
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