we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
