omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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