I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
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