Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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