i always forget guys have bellybuttons
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
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