she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
