Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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