and you said cock pushups were impossible
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
