ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
