Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I take back everything I said about communal showers
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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