i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Randomize
