please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
