also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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